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No Regrets.
I have officially finished my 2 full years at UTD and I am on my way to numero tres. Then if all goes well, Graduate status! Wooh.
Hate to toot my own horn about it, but I'll have to say; I am really proud of what I've accomplished this year. Though things didn't always seem to go as planned for me, the most important thing I keep in mind is, I worked hard to get where I am and I succeeded in doing the Best I could do.
As a wise friend told me:
"The important thing is, you tried your best.That's what matters  "
I say thank you to that special friend, and I am forever grateful for all your supportive guidance throughout my constant struggles and stresses. You've inspired me to be do better for myself, and to understand that through constant practiced discipline, I can once again feel positive about what I came here to do. I'd have to say that I did lose confidence in myself with school for a long time now, and I am ashamed to say that I had almost lost hope. School has been a constant struggle for me for the the past several years now. It has changed greatly. Maturity? Who knows. But probably.
It certainly isn't a novel idea when I say, "everyone must deal with life's challenges". Like all problems, we've got the small hurdles, and we've got the big ones. I know that what may seem minute to some, maybe a tremendous issue to another. And NO kind of pain is too small. These are my personal struggles, and they are in fact, very important to me. I'd have to say that this has been one of my biggest hurdles. In my daily life, I am happy to say that I have been blessed with the basic amenities a good life has to offer. The downside? It is easy to take those things for granted.
***This is why achieving my academic goals are so important to me. It is an aspect in my life where most things (in fact, NOTHING) is handed to me. I have to earn it , and earn it well with honest hard work and discipline. Sadly, there are those out there that spend years and years taking their life for granted. I do not want to become one of those people. Some even spend their lives in misery because they think there is no way out. Not true. There is always a way out.
There's always a constant battle within myself to be the very best. But I guess the pressure caught up to me at one point or another and I stopped trying. You could say I tend to have an "All or Nothing" attitude. Perfectionist? Maybe. -_- Except that word doesn't always carry a positive meaning (Refer to: "all or nothing" attitude). If I didn't do "ALL", I did nothing. Pathetic? I think so. Haha.
I still struggle to deal with that attitude to this day; but it's getting better. Trust me.
But through my perseverance and with good friends supporting me every step of the way, I know I can accomplish my goals and reach a higher potential beyond what I thought I could reach.
I may have finished this past year with mere satisfying results, but I know that this is a new beginning to an even greater accomplishment. I say cheers to the future and to my loved ones involved; it is a bright one indeed. 
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Current mood: Confused. 
I thought I've always had the right idea about the kind of people I want to surround myself with. But lately, I've been questioning my current philosophy about it.
I do tend to forgive easily about little things people do here and there. It still doesn't stop me from hitting "File" and "Save". But when is enough enough? When do the files become overabundant causing the whole computer to crash?
Where do I really draw the line?
I do believe things happen for a reason, and I try to stick to that train of thought. But lately my stubborn pride is making it more and more difficult to forgive the little things people tend to do. I guess I can infer back to what a good friend once said to me; which was, "all you need is time." That I do. They say time heals wounds eventually, but time can also give you a clearer perspective on things. If you are lucky enough to realize and open up to them that is. 
For right now I'm just going to let things ride out the way they are and do my best not to interfere where I shouldn't really be interfering.
Friendship and Trust are two of the most aspects of my life. My friendship is easily given; & depending on the circumstances from the get-go, my trust can also. From the get-go I give people a chance. I try not to judge on anything else but their moral character and their personality. But when my friendship is abused, my trust goes right along with it all. My trust is not to be simply taken lightly, abused, and can be picked up when one feels they the need to do so. I consider forgiveness and healing, but once my trust has been tampered with, it will not be as it was before. I listen to my instincts and if I feel like I cannot trust a particular person, I follow it. Trust can be lost but it can also be gained back. You can rest assured that the journey to gaining it back will not be impossible, but it will also NOT be an easy one.
Am I doing the right thing? Am I being too harsh and if I keep going down this path, will it keep me from making new friends? Will the quality of my friendships be better or worse than they were before?
Help. 
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ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!!
~ its a beautiful day outside
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Graduate with honors.
:)
... yeah, that's about right.
I miss being able to read leisurely when I want to :(. The kinds of books I want to read; so close yet so far away  The books on my new shelf keep calling to me with unfinished pages read, and book marks sticking out. Lonely and dusty they remain, for now.
In other news, I cut my right hand trying to make a nice healthy tuna sandwich yesterday.
Ouch. Blood and tuna fish on my yellow sweater. Yuck.Not a pretty sight.
I think I'll stick with tuna that is pre-made and comes in an easy-to-open pouch from now on.
So, I'm doing pretty well considering the promises I've kept to myself. Well for the most part, that is. Let's hope I keep up with them.
Am I really ready for another disappointment? No sir, I am not.
I think I brought it upon myself anyway.
In happier news............errr ...
Hm, well, we'll have to see for the next post. Hopefully, there will be one of those :D
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| Hold a friend's hand through times of trial, let them find love through a hug and a smile, but also know when it is time to let go...for each and everyone of us must learn to grow.
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